Confusion

I should be preparing for my meeting at work right now, but I wanted to take a moment and capture the way I am feeling.
I am sorry if I seem obsessed with this topic lately. It is never-ending. The person who is running in my thoughts here is crazy and cool and amazing and wise and kind...and sometimes the opposite of all of that. There are times when I feel like I am in love with him, and there are times when I feel like that would be the absolute dumbest idea in the world. But either way, this whole discussion is making me think. Hard. About what I value, what I need, what I want...and what I am willing to compromise. And, really, either way it is moot. Because we will most likely never be together...for various reasons - some his and some mine.
It sounds both more and less tragic than it actually is. It is friendship, but it is way deeper than that. I feel like, yeah, like there is a reason this person is in my life in the way that he is. I am thankful for his presence even though sometimes I want to kick him in the butt and stick my tongue out at him.
This is not a sad feeling. Instead, I am filled with a hopeful understanding. All is far more simple and far more complex than I am giving credit.
And then there is this practical love. I have a steady n stable love relation that supports me and ensures I don't get too out of hand. Is it selfish for me to want both? Perhaps it is true that no one person will ever satisfy me. Funny that in saying that, and living it. The question is, which do I prefer? And I suppose it's not a pressing question at the moment. I just know my life changed when I met him. Its only he who can give me the strength and love to get out of my past. I know its tough for him too and I am asking too much, but we expect only from our near & dear ones. This is a challenge, and we have to face it and live upto it. I just need his support. I hope he understands. Life has been great after we met... truly, all of it is beautiful. All of it. Every. Last. Bit.

Masters in US

IIT Chicago MS..US...All these thoughts are going in my mind right now. opps let me clarify its not for me, this is for my brother. yup my bro got admission in IIT Chicago for his Masters in Science. I am happy but not very...to be frank I am no one to judge this. I am not a post graduate nor a big shot brainy...but I always want best for my family specially for my only brother. This is a tough time for him, but was not the same sometime back...He was in his 3rd year of Btech and got placed with Aztec Soft, a software company in Bangalore. We were all happy for him...Time passed by and he completed his bachelors in June of 2007. Unfortunately, his company joining date was postponed to an unknown date, but he was strong & joined some other small company in Delhi with minimal salary....Best part was that he was never shy about it. Parallely he started preparing for his Masters. Peer pressure was killing him from inside but he always had a smile on his face with the dream to reach heights. I am sure he is going to make it. He is a tough guy much more smarter than me :) If I can make it to Infosys & then US he can do anything...I know it was a little easy and lucky for me but his luck is not all that bad (he always has my share of luck too)
Ok Lets not drift from the thoughts...So today after so much awaited wait he got his admit reply from IIT Chicago. He was thrilled, thousands of thoughts in his mind, he will make it big, he always wanted to be in US, live life king size...Oh I am excited too...clearing GRE and getting a admit for masters in US is a BIG Deal. I am proud of you my brother...
Life is full of surprises...people who did their MS from US started advising that its not all that worth, try MBA...I was like yeah that is true...Don't know what confused me....though I was always a confused person, indecisive...but this is a matter of my brother's future. He should not regret later for missing this opportunity coz some loser said its not worth. I remember we used to appreciate anybody who made it to US on their own. Then why are even thinking with such a opportunity in hand…I think he should go for it!!! All the best brother…I know u can do everything!!!

My Life, My Family

I still remember the old school days when my dad used to get up early in the morning to drop me for school. I was always too lazy to get up, brush my teeth, take bath and dress up for school. Usually used to miss my bus, then my dad used to take the car and chase the school bus for me...oh it was a pain.Don't know how selfless parents are. Why should he sacrifice his sleep for me. Why should mom get up early and prepare lunch for us. And we selfish kids had all kinds of tantrums everytime. We used to crib for food. I don't like onions in my omellete but guddu does, so separate preparation for mom. I am sorry mom, I am sorry dad.
I was so stubborn and you guys were my genie, anything i wished, it was presented to me the same day. My birthday gifts, oh my 6th class birthday dress was a 1200Rs skirt, best anyone could get with matching earings, socks and shoes. Thank you mom, thank you papa. You are the best.
Coming to the bestest part of my life, my younger brother. I love you. You have been my strength, my supporter, my friend, my kid. I can share anything and everything with him. We have cried together, laughed together and lived together. May we have this purest form of love grow ever and ever. I am always there for him and I know no matter what happens i will always have his brave shoulders to lean on.
I hope i can return even 1% of the love and time they spent on me. i want to build a house for my mom called "Poonam Niwas" I know she wants that. I want to take my dad for a world tour, coz i know he likes travelling. I want to bring my brother to US for his higher studies coz i know he wants to earn well and settle in life king size. I want to make this happen soon.
God please give me strength and will power to fulfill my dreams...